Hey Reader,

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Over the past few weeks we’ve been talking about the messy middle.

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The waiting.

The uncertainty.

The stories we tell ourselves about “when.”

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And it reminded me of something psychologists call the arrival fallacy.

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The arrival fallacy is the belief that once we reach a certain destination, life will finally feel better.

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We’ll finally be happy.

We’ll finally rest.

We’ll finally feel fulfilled.

We’ll finally enjoy our lives.

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For years, medicine taught me some version of this story.

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Just get through medical school.

Just get through residency.

Just become an attending.

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Everything gets better when you’re an attending.

And to be fair, some things did get better.

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I made a lot more money.

I had a little more autonomy.

Luckily, I had more options.

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But nobody prepared me for what didn’t change.

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The exhaustion didn’t magically disappear.

The sleep didn’t suddenly improve.

The anxiety didn’t vanish.

The pressure didn’t go away.

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I arrived at the destination carrying many of the same things I had been carrying the entire journey.

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Because here’s what nobody tells you:

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The promotion comes.

The raise comes.

The title comes.

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But if you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, disconnected, or constantly postponing your life, those things often come with you too.

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Last week at Craft & Commerce, I heard a speaker say something that stopped me in my tracks:

“Stop making your health a side hustle.”

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Honestly?

That one stung.

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Because for years, that’s exactly what I was doing.

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Health was something I’d get to eventually.

Rest was something I’d prioritize eventually.

Joy was something I’d make time for eventually.

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I kept telling myself that one day things would slow down.

One day I’d have more time.

One day I’d finally focus on myself.

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Then I realized something:

One day was never coming.

Unless I made it today.

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The truth is, many of us aren’t delaying their health, rest, relationships, or joy because we don’t care about them.

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We’re delaying them because they believe those things belong on the other side of success.

But what if they’re supposed to be part of success?

What if success isn’t the degree? The title? The promotion? The paycheck?

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What if success is building a life that feels good while you’re living it?

Not just when you finally arrive.

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Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:

You can spend your whole life chasing the next milestone.

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Or you can start building a life you don’t need a vacation from.

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A life that includes your health.

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Your peace.

Your relationships.

Your joy.

Yourself.

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So this week, I want to leave you with a question:

What part of your life have you been putting on hold until you “arrive”?

And what would it look like to bring it with you instead?

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With love,

Nikia

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P.S. If this resonates, Awakened was created for exactly this work. Not helping you become someone new, but helping you reconnect with the version of yourself that’s been waiting beneath the exhaustion, pressure, and constant striving. You don’t have to wait until you arrive to feel better. You can start now.