Hey Reader,

I’m still in the middle of my messy middle.

And when life starts feeling chaotic, I don’t panic.

I audit.

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I do energy audits.

Time audits.

Sometimes even relationship audits.

I ask myself:

Where is my time going?

Where is my energy going?

What’s giving back… and what’s only taking?

This week, one theme kept coming up.

Loyalty.
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The more I thought about it, the more I realized something.

Reciprocated loyalty is leverage.

One-sided loyalty is a liability.

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Now don’t get me wrong.

Loyalty is one of my core values.

When it’s mutual, it’s one of the most beautiful things we can build our lives on.

But one-sided loyalty?

That can become incredibly expensive.

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I’ve watched women stay loyal to jobs that would replace them tomorrow.

Stay loyal to institutions that don’t protect them.

Stay loyal to friendships that only call when they need something.

Stay loyal to expectations and rules they never consciously agreed to.

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Not because those things are serving them.

Because somewhere along the way, they learned that leaving meant failing.

That choosing themselves meant they weren’t loyal enough.

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But here’s what I’ve been learning:

Every “yes” costs something.

Sometimes it costs time.

Sometimes it costs energy.

Sometimes it costs money.

And sometimes…

It costs your freedom.

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If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, don’t just look at your schedule.

Look at your loyalty.

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Where are you giving your time, energy, and heart without receiving respect, support, or peace in return?

Because that may be the very place you’re losing the most.

And it might also be the first place to start reclaiming yourself.

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With love,

Nikia

P.S. One-sided loyalty keeps us stuck. Community that pours back into you helps you move forward. If you’re ready for more of the second and less of the first, I’d love to have you at Awakened this September or Renewal this November.